They come mostly at night…mostly


Checked mail, no answer from Bruno, tried calling bartender with no answer so left vague voice mail.  Seem to recall a video tapping at the club, resolve to look that up.  Spend an hour updating FB with some excerpts from the Factbook on influencing since it’s in my mind.  It’s not that I’m avoiding sleep…it’s just not coming.

After a few years of seeing clients at all hours of the night, sleeping at night feels like a wasted opportunity.  But meeting early tomorrow, 9AM, to see to this other lead.  But now, it’s probably too late to take a sleeping pill.  And my head is reeling with memories.

smacardsPart of the trouble with remembering past lives is that they creep in when you’re most vulnerable.  For me, that’s the night mostly.  Which is why I don’t mind working in the evenings.  I actually prefer it.  By day, I’m so tired that I crash and when I awaken, there’s light and movement and all the sights and sounds of a life in full view that distracts me beautifully.  I’ve been on this quest, perhaps quixotic, so many lifetimes that my nights are filled with memories of vampires.  Ones I couldn’t help, ones that hunted me, ones that even killed me…I’ve had so few successes.  But my failures, they are grand indeed.

But then, there are moments.  Like the Burim twins.  I protected them for a spell.  Made vampires by mistake at 13.  Hired as a governess, I was Auntie to them.  When I had finally revealed that I knew their horrible secret, I had been able to help them find a way to not take up the vampire life, to avoid it and yet survive.  They never drank human blood.  That seemed key to keep them from growing too strong, for keeping their powers undercover.  And using the techniques I had through lifetimes to record my work, save it away, entrusted to a guardian who would continue the line until I surfaced again, we were able to set up familial guardians for the twins.  So they might never be alone, unprotected.

melatoninIn honesty, I’d lost track of them after that one lifetime.  I have tried off and on to find out what happened to them, so many things could have.  But this lifetime is too new and the memories sometimes fade into fog if I try too hard to remember.  It’s better to let them coalesce on their own.

I get up to go call in my last stand: melatonin.  It usually eases me to sleep.  And sometimes, the best remedy for the night is to pass through it unknowingly.

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