Vampirony

She’s not convinced.  Well now this must be a first.  A human woman thinking she knows better than a hundreds of years old vampire.  I thought I’d cornered the market on that.  Which is why I feel sorry for her.  She’s treating him like just some guy.  She needs to know a lot more things before she could think like that safely.  Most vampires, by virtue of their sheer existence, can take care of themselves.  But there’s always something.

“How do you know that?  Maybe he’s young and foolish.”

I laugh.  Can’t help myself.  She really wants to control this.

“What?”

“Vamps may be paranoid even in the best of times but they are insanely good judges of character.  And there’s no way a vamp younger than 300 would attract a….friend such as yourself.”

“Why?  What’s wrong with me?”

Oh brother.  “Look.  You are well-trained, ex-military, ex-diplomatic service, card carrying member of the Kick-Ass-Cult.  Of the Three, you’re either perfect predator or partner.”

“What does that mean?”

If I’d known I was going to be giving lessons, I would have brought my Factbook.  Oh well.  Better now, give her a chance to get away, then wait until she’s too far in it.

“I theorize that for every vampire, there are three perfect matches that they are karmically bound to.  Prey, the one they hunt.  Predator, the one that hunts them.  And Partner.  That one’s kinda obvious.  If you were Prey, you wouldn’t be walking around.”

This doesn’t help her and after thinking about the fact I just suggested she’s karmically bound to this HE, I realize my mistake.  Time to take it back a notch.

“Look, you might not be any of those things to..him.  I guess what I’m saying is that vampires don’t leave threats around.  You’re a powerful woman and there’s obviously some…uh, attraction there.”  Yeah, that clears it all up.  Is this when I make it worse and tell her that a lot of vamps just attract lookers so they can feast on pretty meat?  She’s walking around so blind I’m beginning to think this he is the wrong sort, that he’s messing with her and, when she figures that out and tries to kill him, he’ll enjoy it and then end her.

“You saying he’s going to turn me?”

“Contrary to movie and novel folklore, vampires tend to turn humans out of accident more than intent.  They turn a human that they are compatible with and they ruin a safe and reliable food source.  They also threaten their hunting grounds with yet another mouth to feed.”  Not to mention increase the UVA in the area.  Police blotter around here already high on that scale.

“Ok you’ve made your point.  You sound like an expert.  But how do I know for sure?”

“Well, vamps hate references so unfortunately, you’re going to have to let your night friend decide.  That is, if you’re still interested.”

“No references?  What kind of psychologist does that make you?”

“The reliable kind.  The trustworthy kind. Look I’m in town because another powerful vampire wanted to see me. Beyond telling you that, you’re just going to have to decide who you trust the most: me, yourself, or your Nightwalker. But do me a favor, if you want us to meet, please come up with a reasonable cover so that he won’t kill me on sight.”

“He’s not like that.”

“Says you and every other dog owner.  My dog won’t bite.  I may know I’m destined to be back in this world again but I kinda like my here and now.”

We discuss meet-ups.  I have to get back to her because I’m still waiting for Skovajsa to rear his head again.  I mumble something about never handling two cases together.

“Then why did you agree to meet me?” she asks testily.

Because I get sick of talking to the undead.  Because I need to keep busy, the memories have been bad lately.  Growing restless in my head for a week or so. 

“Honestly, I don’t know.  It sounded urgent.  But my other case is difficult, a Carpathian.”

She raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.  “I have no idea what that means.”

“Cripes, you really are a rookie!  We need to learn you up if you’re going hang with the fang.  By the way, don’t mention anything to your vampy friend about the Carpathian.  Some vamps get pissy about…other vamps.  And work on your plan, we need to keep it honest and real.”

I leave her with that, suddenly need to get out of there.  I stumble into oppressive morning heat and grab for my amulet.  She’s so green, I shouldn’t let her plan anything.  But for now, I head back to my room.  I’m going to need an office stat, especially if I intend to try and manage two vampires at once. 

No point in reminding myself that in 13 lifetimes, I’d never even thought to do that outside of a familial group of vamps (aka horror).  And as I check my mail and see a note from Skovajsa asking to meet Thursday night, there really is no point at all reminding myself how that horror session ended.

This entry was posted on August 4, 2009 at 7:33 pm and is filed under Fiction, Vampirony with tags blood, coffee talk, creative writing, Fiction, psychology, seattle, supernatural, vampire, vampires, Vampirony, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.